Update on the Journey
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When I first started this business, website and blog I had every anticipation and intention that Mecan Payne Balanced Wellness of Mecan Payne, LLC would become a side hustle and then ultimately, a full time career. I had visions and aspirations of teaching yoga, health coaching, producing content, writing, speaking … and yet within a few months of the whirlwind of launching, I felt a very strong word from the Holy Spirit saying,
“Not yet, just wait.”
Oof. Ouch. Ow. What?!
Those words are hard for a planner, Type-A, Individualist - Enneagram 4, always seeking growth and purpose, kind of person like me… and yet I felt that message so deeply in my soul, that it stopped me dead in my tracks.
“Not yet, just wait.”
So I stopped and I waited. Actually, I’m still waiting.
During the pandemic, we ended up moving, starting new jobs, getting pregnant with our second son… all the things. Some days I feel peace about the waiting, other days I forget about the business entirely (working a full time job, being married, parenting an almost 3 year old and being 5 months pregnant means you forget a lot of things) while other days I question why I have to wait and why I couldn’t have continued to build off of the momentum that I had begun to create.
Before getting pregnant, I was slowly starting to regain a passion for my things. I was rediscovering my yoga practice, committing to meal planning & prepping, decluttering my home and figuring out what the “work life balance” looks like in this new season. I felt a strong prompting to reconnect with the Christian yoga school where I received my 200 hour training and would periodically check their social media. One day I learned that they were offering a discount for their 500 hour training program. This program is a continuation of the initial training to become a yoga teacher, taking you from the foundation of being both a teacher and a student, to a deeper level of self discovery, discipline and education.
“Not yet, just wait. But walk through this door in front of you.”
Again, I listened. And this time, when prompted, I responded.
I didn’t really have plans for this type of continuing education in my yoga practice. I thought I might invest in some specific certifications like chair yoga, pre/post natal yoga or even yoga for children. Alas, a different door was opened and God called me to walk through it. So I did. I registered for the 500 hour yoga teacher training, submitted my payment, received my materials and within a month I became pregnant with this second kiddo. *Cue nausea, heartburn, exhaustion, insomnia and an intense range of emotions*… believe it or not, this actually happened to me with my 200 hour training as well. I swear I have the weirdest life experiences and I should definitely be used to it by now!
Needless to say, I did not start my training. I went into first trimester mode (aka a walking pregnant zombie) and navigated my first summer of running camp programs. By the grace of God, we all survived both the first trimester AND the first summer of camp. In these post-camp months, my schedule has slowed down and the second trimester greeted me warmly; my energy, attitude and physical symptoms have all been moving in a positive direction.
I’ve spent a lot of time deeply reflecting on my journey of wellness, health, self love, body acceptance, body appreciation, discovery & evolution of the spiritual discipline of yoga, the brief yet transformative experience of launching & pausing a business… and again, I have felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me:
“Not yet, just wait doesn’t mean that you stop investing.”
And so I listened. And I responded by taking action.
I contacted the yoga school and have begun my 500 hour teacher training. I researched certifications that interest me and created a list of programs I would like to invest in over the next couple of years. I’ve started asking questions about holistic health & nutrition education and health coach training.
I find myself with this deep sense of peace that just because this season of my life — continuing to expand our family, parenting young children, devoting time to marriage, managing a household, learning how to steward my body, mind, spirit & soul and working to grow in a job that I am passionate about (and that challenges me greatly) — is not conducive starting and investing in a business, does not mean that I can’t still pursue my interests! I can easily see myself spending the next 5+ years learning, growing and evolving in regards to my yoga practice, holistic health & nutrition knowledge and personal overall wellbeing. I can see these investments simply being a hobby that fulfills me mentally, physically, emotionally and mentally … but I also catch myself daydreaming about owning a yoga studio, teaching classes, offering health & spiritual direction coaching and creating a beautiful ministry out of the experience that I’ve gained.
I don’t know what direction these years of investment are going to take but wow, am I humbled by this revelation. When I feel overwhelmed with the program options, the financial necessities, the “what ifs” that come from daydreaming, brainstorming and visioning, I once again feel the strong message of the Holy Spirit settle over my soul:
“Not yet, just wait.”
So I take a couple of breaths. And I listen. I obey. I invest in the present and appreciate every second of the experience.
I can’t wait to share this journey of pursuing my 500 hour yoga teacher training with you friends. Thank you so much for your continued support, encouragement and interest in this strange, yet so fulfilling, life that I am called to live.
Image By: Corbin Payne Photography
