31 Years

I’ve been alive for 31 years, which simultaneously feels like an eternity and also the blink of an eye. I feel wise beyond my years while also feeling like I know, quite literally, nothing. My 30th year was hard, heavy and complicated but there were also many experiences of growth, health and wisdom. I could probably write a whole book about the past year of my life but since I have 3 littles, a full time job, side hustle jobs and am moving over the next 2 weeks – I’ll just stick to a list of the top lessons that I have learned over the past year and save the book writing for another decade in the future. 

1 - Protect your peace. I’ve learned that it’s okay to say no, to people, things, events and opportunities. My mantra for the past year has been “saying big yeses and hard no’s” when it comes to relationships, schedules, commitments and who/what I allow to rent space in my life, heart and mind. How can we possibly live a full life, if we don’t protect the peace of our heart, mind, body and spirit? This has been so hard but so fruitful for me.

2 - Don’t let fear freeze you. It’s scary to put yourself out there, in front of people, when you’re intimidated by public speaking but I’ve been doing it afraid. It’s only been 3 months into 2024 but I’ve already facilitated holistic wellness workshops and yoga classes for almost 200 people! I’ve learned a lot and have gained immense confidence from not being frozen by my fear.

3 - Surround yourself with people who will say your name in a room of possibilities. Find your people that see you and all you have to offer and invest in those relationships. It’s okay to not put as much stock into (or even to fully release) friendships that don’t encourage you to be the best version of yourself and it’s okay to lean into relationships and networks that elevate your gifts, skills, passions and potential.

4 - Life is so much more enjoyable when you laugh your way through it. In the chaos of little kids, familial health issues, adulting challenges, house buying difficulties and overall day to day experiences, laughing has provided me a great stress release and much more relaxed approach to the ups and downs of life. It’s also teaching our kids to laugh more and there’s nothing quite like baby laughter to fill your moment with joy.

5 - The yoga practice meets you right where you are. I recommitted to my yoga practice in my 30thyear and can say with absolute certainty that my practice has met me, right where I am in this prolonged season of uncertainty, growing pains and challenges. My current practice is less about flexibility and fun asanas and more about emotional release, prayer, breath and reconnection to my faith, my body and myself. My yoga mat has caught more tears in the past year than it has in my entire lifetime and what a true comfort and blessing that has been.

6 - It’s okay to learn as you go. I used to think that I had to be an expert in something before I speak to it or before I could own that role in my life. Parenthood has deeply humbled me over the past year and I am slowly releasing the self-put pressure to do things perfectly and to have all of the answers. Each day is filled with chaos, lessons, experiences and opportunities to learn, grown and evolve… also please reference number 4.

7 - Coaching can be a life changing modality. Not only have I experienced both personal and professional breakthroughs by working with coaches over the past year but coaching from a fellow student in a coach training actually led to me enrolling in my holistic health coaching program! Since enrolling, that program has dramatically impacted my approach to health, worldview of wellness and drive to serve others through the modalities of coaching and yoga.

8 - Put yourself out there. Earlier this year I attended a yoga teacher event all by myself. I knew a couple of the leaders but registered, traveled to/from and attended the event solo. It was a life changing weekend for me where I was able to gain immense knowledge and insight, ask (myself & others) hard questions, grieve what was, discover what is and dream about what is to come. I met incredible women who spoke the encouragement, community and love of Jesus into not just my current season but into my life, my spirit, my family and my ministry. Oh what a sweet reward for putting myself out there and doing something out of my comfort zone!

There is so much more that I could say about the lessons, growing pains and experiences of the last year but in all honesty, I’m still processing a lot of it. It’s been a hard, heavy, challenging year and I would be lying if I said I was sad to see 30 go… but I can feel the growth, evolution, health, joy, laughter and peace brewing for 31. Cheers to another year of learning, growing, exploring and continuing to live into my purpose to effect change, share love and journey alongside others.

What happened in the waiting

My last blog post was 2 years, 4 months and 26 days ago. A lot has happened in that time: we added our second son, my role at work changed, we moved to another house on the camp property where we live, my husband got a new job and we now work together, we added our third son, our oldest started preschool… plus some other fun updates that I will share in a bit. It’s been quite the journey over the past 2+ years!

I gave an update about my business and yoga practice in my last blog post, as well as a glimpse into some dreams that were beginning to stir in my heart. The running theme of that post was “not yet, just wait”. So I guess today, as I sip my bone broth and sit in my shockingly quiet living room before the house wakes up, I’ll tell you a little bit about what happened in the waiting.

During my pregnancy with our second son, I started my 300-hour yoga teacher training and a couple days before he was born, in January 2022, I submitted my final assignment and while on maternity leave, I received my official certificate of completion. From there, I decided to join the Yoga Alliance registry of yoga teachers, which officially made me both a Certified and Registered 500-hour yoga teacher (RYT-500).

To be completely transparent, I didn’t do much with my yoga practice (and did nothing with my yoga business) while my second son was an infant. Mostly due to the fact that we unexpectedly became pregnant with our third son, when our second was just 5 months old. The third pregnancy threw us for a loop and was the hardest on my body. That pregnancy looked a lot like taking life slow, resting daily and extending a ton of grace to myself for not being able to accomplish every single task every single day.

It was a challenging season, but I learned a lot about expectations and even more about grace.

This was the only pregnancy where I decided to extend my maternity leave and I actually ended up adding 2 weeks of vacation time before my due date to rest, prepare and take a mental break from work. During that 2+ weeks of anticipating our third son’s arrival, I decided to check out online specialty yoga certifications.  I looked at an array of programs but ultimately met myself right where I was and decided to complete a postnatal yoga certification. I finished this program in about a week and was pleasantly surprised at how much it impacted my preparation for a newborn and postpartum recovery.  

My third maternity leave was like neither of my previous ones – my first being incredibly challenging and my second being incredibly smooth. Having 3 kids under the age of 4, including a newborn, is a crazy concept but having been through it twice before, I found my threshold for exhaustion to be incredibly high, along with my ambitions to get out of the house and to feel “normal”. So when my third son was 4 days old, my mom and I took them to the aquarium. My pelvic floor needed a week to recover from that adventure but it was through that experience that I started to think: “Maybe I do need community after all….”

While on my maternity leave, I couldn’t shake the pull toward getting a children’s yoga certification. This in itself caught me by surprise because I’ve never been a kid person. I like my own kids and I enjoy youth and young adult ministry, but never really felt connected to children’s ministry or to other kids. But if there’s anything I’ve learned over the past several years, it’s to just surrender to the journey and let the pieces come together on their own timeline. Needless to say, I completed the children’s yoga certification with a 4 year old and 14 month old running around, and a newborn asleep in my lap.  

While pregnant with my third, I ended up completing a basic skills, coach approach skills training course through my job. In the spirit of continuing education, I decided to also sign up for follow up courses – advanced skills and coaching of groups & teams, not realizing that the first two weeks of sessions would take place at the end of my maternity leave. Being the achiever type, I decided to take the courses anyway and let me tell you, it changed my life.

I mentioned in my previous blog that I had been dreaming and exploring the idea of additional yoga certifications, as well as a holistic health coaching certification. The concept of holistic health coaching wasn’t new to me – I had been working with a health coach since 2018 and the work had a huge impact on my journey. I was interested in the certification program from the very beginning but it was a large financial investment and something that I had a hard time justifying spending money on… that is, until one of my classmates coached me to move past my fears, anxiety, self-doubt and negative self-talk. I logged out of class that day and immediately signed up for the Health Coach Training Program through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.

In between registration and the start of the holistic health coaching program, I enrolled in two other specialty yoga certification programs. One being adaptive yoga – yoga for every body and one being yin yoga – a deep tissue, contemplative practice. I haven’t finished either program yet but they’re on the timeline for the second half of this year! 

For the past seven months, I have logged on each week to work on a holistic health and coaching module for the Health Coach Training Program. I have learned about mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. I have done a deep dive into 12 areas of life, which accumulate to the health of a person. I have read, listened, taken notes, completed exams, worked with practice “clients” to complete health histories and coaching sessions, attended online small groups and completed deeply personal homework assignments… and I’m only 55% done the program! In addition to the cultivation of knowledge and skills, I have also developed a true dedication to learning, growing and investing in my own continuing education regularly.

This new, bold investment in myself also sparked a new sense of bravery in my soul and I did something this year that I never would have considered in the past – I signed up for an event, in another part of the country, that I traveled to / from and attended by myself.

This January, I attended a yoga teacher event, the Christian Yoga Teacher Revival, all by myself. Even though I’m an only child and a strong independent woman, traveling along has never been on my list of life interests or goals. Initially I registered for this event in April 2023 thinking it was another retreat that I could eventually talk someone into attending with me… little did I know where I would be in my journey of yoga, holistic wellness and creativity 9 months later. I needed to go this event and I needed to go by myself this year.

At CYT, I ate nourishing foods, slept 8+ hours per night, practiced yoga daily, gained invaluable knowledge through workshops, filled my soul through worship, spent quiet time reflecting at the beach and even received 1-1 business coaching from one of my favorite people. By the end of the weekend, I felt revived, rejuvenated and like I finally had the clarity that I had been longing for since starting my business in 2020. The clarity and direction that I received during this week away was not in the direction that I expected or had been working on but yet, it makes so much sense and it feels so right.

My 2024 is going to be a crazy one. We are once again moving… in fact, we’re actually buying a house! In a place that is incredible special, both in its own right and to our family. Our oldest will be starting kindergarten. We are reinvesting in all aspects of our health and embracing every step of that journey as it comes. And in a fun twist of events, I suddenly have found myself with several events on my business calendar for the first quarter of this year! From holistic wellness workshops for leaders to a wellness & yoga retreat for a sorority to some other budding opportunities this year – I am hearing a couple of things loud and clear:

Surrender to the journey.

Meet people where they are.

Teach them about grace – for self and for others.

Guide them into community.

I’m excited to share more about my journey, my family’s journey, my yoga practice, my yoga and health coaching business and the community that I feel led to build as we step into a new season.

Thankful for this journey of wholeness and to be navigating our whole journey, together.  

Update on the Journey

Previous Posts

When I first started this business, website and blog I had every anticipation and intention that Mecan Payne Balanced Wellness of Mecan Payne, LLC would become a side hustle and then ultimately, a full time career. I had visions and aspirations of teaching yoga, health coaching, producing content, writing, speaking … and yet within a few months of the whirlwind of launching, I felt a very strong word from the Holy Spirit saying,

 “Not yet, just wait.”

Oof. Ouch. Ow. What?!

Those words are hard for a planner, Type-A, Individualist - Enneagram 4, always seeking growth and purpose, kind of person like me… and yet I felt that message so deeply in my soul, that it stopped me dead in my tracks. 

 “Not yet, just wait.”

So I stopped and I waited. Actually, I’m still waiting. 

During the pandemic, we ended up moving, starting new jobs, getting pregnant with our second son… all the things. Some days I feel peace about the waiting, other days I forget about the business entirely (working a full time job, being married, parenting an almost 3 year old and being 5 months pregnant means you forget a lot of things) while other days I question why I have to wait and why I couldn’t have continued to build off of the momentum that I had begun to create.

Before getting pregnant, I was slowly starting to regain a passion for my things. I was rediscovering my yoga practice, committing to meal planning & prepping, decluttering my home and figuring out what the “work life balance” looks like in this new season. I felt a strong prompting to reconnect with the Christian yoga school where I received my 200 hour training and would periodically check their social media. One day I learned that they were offering a discount for their 500 hour training program. This program is a continuation of the initial training to become a yoga teacher, taking you from the foundation of being both a teacher and a student, to a deeper level of self discovery, discipline and education. 

“Not yet, just wait. But walk through this door in front of you.”

Again, I listened. And this time, when prompted, I responded.

I didn’t really have plans for this type of continuing education in my yoga practice. I thought I might invest in some specific certifications like chair yoga, pre/post natal yoga or even yoga for children. Alas, a different door was opened and God called me to walk through it. So I did. I registered for the 500 hour yoga teacher training, submitted my payment, received my materials and within a month I became pregnant with this second kiddo. *Cue nausea, heartburn, exhaustion, insomnia and an intense range of emotions*… believe it or not, this actually happened to me with my 200 hour training as well. I swear I have the weirdest life experiences and I should definitely be used to it by now! 

Needless to say, I did not start my training. I went into first trimester mode (aka a walking pregnant zombie) and navigated my first summer of running camp programs. By the grace of God, we all survived both the first trimester AND the first summer of camp. In these post-camp months, my schedule has slowed down and the second trimester greeted me warmly; my energy, attitude and physical symptoms have all been moving in a positive direction. 

I’ve spent a lot of time deeply reflecting on my journey of wellness, health, self love, body acceptance, body appreciation, discovery & evolution of the spiritual discipline of yoga, the brief yet transformative experience of launching & pausing a business… and again, I have felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me:

“Not yet, just wait doesn’t mean that you stop investing.”

And so I listened. And I responded by taking action.

I contacted the yoga school and have begun my 500 hour teacher training. I researched certifications that interest me and created a list of programs I would like to invest in over the next couple of years. I’ve started asking questions about holistic health & nutrition education and health coach training. 

I find myself with this deep sense of peace that just because this season of my life — continuing to expand our family, parenting young children, devoting time to marriage, managing a household, learning how to steward my body, mind, spirit & soul and working to grow in a job that I am passionate about (and that challenges me greatly) — is not conducive starting and investing in a business, does not mean that I can’t still pursue my interests! I can easily see myself spending the next 5+ years learning, growing and evolving in regards to my yoga practice, holistic health & nutrition knowledge and personal overall wellbeing. I can see these investments simply being a hobby that fulfills me mentally, physically, emotionally and mentally … but I also catch myself daydreaming about owning a yoga studio, teaching classes, offering health & spiritual direction coaching and creating a beautiful ministry out of the experience that I’ve gained.

I don’t know what direction these years of investment are going to take but wow, am I humbled by this revelation. When I feel overwhelmed with the program options, the financial necessities, the “what ifs” that come from daydreaming, brainstorming and visioning, I once again feel the strong message of the Holy Spirit settle over my soul: 

“Not yet, just wait.”

So I take a couple of breaths. And I listen. I obey. I invest in the present and appreciate every second of the experience. 

I can’t wait to share this journey of pursuing my 500 hour yoga teacher training with you friends. Thank you so much for your continued support, encouragement and interest in this strange, yet so fulfilling, life that I am called to live. 

Image By: Corbin Payne Photography

Balanced Wellness

If you've followed my journey over the past couple of years, you may have noticed a consistent theme in my posts and verbiage: balanced wellness. After years of struggling with feelings of discontentment, a lack of fulfillment and of course some yo-yo diets & exercise regimens, I have done some major soul searching in the past few years and have come to a place of true, genuine, joy-filled balance. 

In my experience, a balanced life means not only accepting but embracing, the ebbs & flows of each season. Living a life of balance means that instead of striving for perfection in all areas of life (faith, health, family, work, friends...to name a few), we must accept and embrace that some areas require more attention while other areas will be able to survive with less, for however long that season may be! Balanced wellness is achieved not through scoring 100% in every category of life, but rather giving genuine TLC to the areas that need it. Do you know that through my commitment to this lifestyle, I have:

• lost over 50 postpartum pounds

• developed the confidence & skill to become a certified yoga teacher

• learned how to better communicate with my people

• greatly lessened the anxieties of parenthood

• explored deeper connectedness in my faith

• released approximately 1 million tons of self-put job pressure

... just to name a few successes! All of this accepting what areas needed extra attention and what areas could survived with less during a specific life season. 

I truly believe that the best way to achieve balance, is through relationship and support of others. I would not be where I am in my journey today if it were not for the support of my husband, health coach and inner circle of friends. 

Since becoming certified as a yoga teacher, I have slowly started offering classes online. As we move further into a season of digital engagement, I am excited to announce that those initial classes were only the beginning! I have been truly inspired by the connection that came from those first yoga classes and have felt a strong calling to take the next in my journey of engaging with others under the umbrella of balanced living. I am busting with excitement to share that there will be many yoga classes, yoga programs and other fun offerings to come in the near future... all from Mecan Payne | Balanced Wellness! 

I am so thankful for my connection with each of you and I look forward to continuing to walk this journey of life (all of its' crazy seasons!) with you. 

Image by: Corbin Payne Photography